unpack your style

and wear that freak flag proudly

Hello and welcome.

This is a free post from FLOURISH, which is a paid subscriber series on uncovering your path of living authentically and in alignment with your deepest desires. I invite you to join us - your paid subscription gets you all the FLOURISH materials from January and February, as well as 90+ essays on lifestyle, food, wine Europe, and creativity that I’ve written over the last 15 months.

This month, we’re talking about style.

I can tell you that your personal style is important.

No, wait. Your personal style is essential to your happiness and well being.

So what is your style and how did we come to the point where having one is something critical?

It has to do with the monotony that every major system on the globe works endlessly to drive us toward. We are driven to the middle, the mediocre, the average. The same clothes, the same haircut, the same colors, the same food, the same everything. When I can go on line and see someone in Saskatchewan, Canada wearing the exact same Zara sweatshirt as I have, I want to scream. Yet here we are. A car manufacturer changes a bumper design and anticipates we’ll go running after it and throw money as if they reinvented the wheel.

If we follow a system that indoctrinates us to spend our money, time and energy gravitating toward the average, that’s exactly where we’re going to land.

Keeping us focused on what the masses want feeds a very large, hungry machine that has nothing to do with making us feel alive or vital or even human, and everything to do with making us compliant.

I’m not talking about clothes and makeup here, although I am also talking about clothes and makeup. The larger focus is much broader and includes how we live, the colors we’re drawn to, the flowers and plants we feel comfortable around, and how we need our setting to be (internally and externally) in order for us to be energized and full of creativity and joy.

We have the power to turn mediocrity on its head by integrating our voice, story, individuality and creativity to manifest a completely authentic personal style that has our lives’s fingerprint only.

Becoming sure of our own style will serve us well. The deeper we sit in the energy of our own individuality, the more we discover about what we love and why we want to take it in as part of who we are.

Style is a singular act of rebellion.

Here are two of my favorite American icons, women who both lived and worked past 100 years old and manifested their own personal style as a force to be reckoned with.

Iris Apfel

Iris Apfel (1921–2024) was an American businesswoman, interior designer, and fashion icon known for her bold, eclectic style. Born in Queens, New York, she studied art history at New York University and attended the University of Wisconsin. Early in her career, she worked for Women's Wear Daily and interior designer Elinor Johnson before co-founding Old World Weavers, a textile firm, with her husband, Carl Apfel, in 1950. The company specialized in reproducing antique fabrics and served prestigious clients, including the White House.

Apfel gained widespread fame in her later years due to her distinctive fashion sense, characterized by oversized glasses, vibrant colors, and layered accessories. Her unique style was celebrated in a 2005 exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute, which elevated her to global fashion icon status. She later collaborated with major brands, wrote books, and even became a model in her 90s.

Beyond fashion, Apfel embraced aging with confidence and humor, inspiring people worldwide. She remained active until her passing in 2024 at the age of 102. Her legacy continues to influence fashion, design, and the idea that personal style is a lifelong journey of self-expression.

Beatrice Wood

Beatrice Wood (1893–1998) was an American artist, ceramicist, and writer known for her avant-garde spirit and pioneering work in modern pottery. Born in San Francisco and raised in a privileged family, she defied societal expectations by pursuing art instead of a conventional life. She studied painting in France but later became involved in the Dada movement in New York, forming close ties with artists like Marcel Duchamp and Henri-Pierre Roché.

In the 1920s, Wood shifted her focus to ceramics, developing a distinctive lustrous glaze technique that made her pottery highly sought after. She settled in Ojai, California, where she continued creating art well into her later years. Her work blended traditional craftsmanship with whimsical, expressive designs, earning her the nickname "The Mama of Dada."

Beyond art, Wood was known for her sharp wit, free-spirited philosophy, and unconventional love life, which inspired the character of Rose in Titanic (1997). She wrote several books, including her autobiography I Shock Myself. Living to 105, she remained active and curious, attributing her longevity to “chocolate and young men.” Beatrice Wood’s legacy endures through her ceramics, writings, and influence on both art and independent women.

Who in the world WOULDN’T have wanted to sit in a room and drink a cup of tea with these two amazing, characterful women?

Style and how we feel

Personal style and self-confidence are deeply interconnected, influencing how individuals perceive themselves and how they are perceived by others. It’s a form of self-expression that reflects personality, creativity, and individuality. When people exude a style that aligns with their identity and values, they often feel empowered and able to follow their own paths of curiosity.

Confidence and energy grow when we present ourselves authentically.

Conversely, insecurity about personal style can lead to discomfort and self-doubt. Confidence comes from embracing our gorgeous and spicy uniqueness rather than seeking validation through conforming to societal norms and rules.

Personal style is a powerful tool for self-expression and empowerment. When we dress and live in a way that feels authentic and comfortable, we feel better about ourselves and our lives.

When we dig into our voice (led by the creative, playful, energy driven children we once were) and we add depth of character with the stories that have made us who we are (including the trauma, the pain, the joy and the love - all of it), we start to connect with the deep pool of incredible power and energy that we have as the bright flames we can choose to be on this swirling planet.

Over the next two weeks, we’ll work with some tools to help us hone our own way of being and walk each other down a colourful, winding path of discovery. For now, I will say goodbye.

I leave tomorrow on a train to Paris to meet a friend for a few days… I’ll have my phone out and focused on all the beautiful inspiration that the city will show me so that I can bring it all to you the next post.

Have a wonderful day!

Love,

Diana