Thank you for writing honestly about your experiences in Italy. Most people will never know who they really are or what they can do, until they are put to the test. I am tempted to look upon the last 3 years of the construction of my house in Greece (it’s almost finished) as a total waste of time, but what you have written has given me a better perspective. Electricity and water here are major issues and until I move in, I don’t know what to expect. This is my challenge.
Oh Esme, I hear you, I really, really do. It feels sometimes like a squander of time. But it's just awkward growth in fits and bursts. First of all, I know it doesn't feel this way AT ALL but you are brave. Superpower, moving-mountains kind of brave. Some days, you feel you are inching towards completion in a ways that will NEVER get you to your goal but you ARE getting to your goal. It's just tedious as hell. Not knowing what to expect is your challenge. You will meet it and it will become part of the story of the Greek House Esme Built and know one can take any of that away from you.
I loved reading this Diana. So much bittersweetness is what I feel taking in your words. I love your honesty and I love hearing the story of how the B&B came into your life and then left it again. You make such an important point about visiting on holiday, dreaming about a place and living in a place. This is something I think about a lot and try to be very clear-eyed about. I dream of Italy every day it seems, but I also recognise that as a dream place for me it serves an important role that probably always needs to stay a fantasy and somewhat out of my reach. I have had the same relationship with the highlands of Scotland. There are places we need to go in our heads, places that make us strive for return, places that keep us motivated...and I think I know in my heart that if I ever moved to any of these places the spell would be broken and reality would be served. Which would be wonderful in a different way I'm sure, but it would be different. Fantasy places can stay perfect, and you can stay removed and naive. You can't preserve that delicious remoteness as a permanent dweller. As I get older I realise that I need the fantasy more. I need to have places that I long for because it keeps me dreaming, and then when I return it is always so special. Anyway, I know this wasn't what you were saying exactly, but it's where I took it. It was the help I took from it :) Thank you as always for sharing your Italy journey with us. xxx
" if I ever moved to any of these places the spell would be broken and reality would be served." God, is that beautiful.
The spell being broken is bittersweet and full of a type of anguish that has to be grieved, I think. No matter how reality based we are, we want the fairy tale. I used to see myself in my minds eye cruising on a Vespe to get croissants in the morning while guests did yoga by the pool - I promise you NONE OF THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Well, yoga did. But I was so buried under sheets and dirty dishes I hardly noticed.
What transpired was definitely real life, and in the end, I guess I am happy about that. I am happy to know that aspect of living in Italy.
I love reading your perspective, my dear Ruth. I am so happy about the release of your book and as soon as I finish Grounded (I left it in Italy intentionally so that I can come back to it in April when I am there) I look forward to getting it and reading it.
We’re still relatively early in our life abroad (in Portugal for less than 2 years now) but this resonates deeply. It feels like, when you move your entire life to a new country, you change everything in a way that’s impossible to explain. Everything is magnified. Incredible rewards and beautiful moments along with challenges that feel insurmountable (sometimes both in the same day, with, say, a walk along the beach and a broken split unit). Thanks for putting words to this experience in a way that feels so accurate. 🩷
YES on the same day - so often!! Also, in Italy, there's the experience of starting out a drive to do chores with 5 things on the list and coming back with one finished and considering it a win. :). So many things. I am happy you enjoyed the post.
You covered all the points, Diana. A tutorial on how it unfolds and how it rolls. Great! Your point about calling, say, the electric company for us too would require brain surgery afterwards. Early on, my accent alone would warrant a quick hang-up, sometimes before even a Bueno’s Dias. It’s humbling actually and a true learning experience. Life 101.
calling, say, the electric company for us too would require brain surgery afterwards - I died laughing. OMG so true. And definitely the hang ups when they hear the accent. It's all so true. Life 101 indeed.
Kathy and I were guests of yours many years ago. Our stay was a very special experience. I think of it often. It is enlightening to get some of the backstory over a decade later. Be well!
Oh, John. These are the moments I still live for - thank you so much for coming and commenting. I can't begin to tell you what it means. Our guests were everything to us. It was a very special hill with very special people.
I think it’s also interesting what people assume. Eg. I think my friends in the states think: Brenna is living in Italy it’s amazing! Well of course some days are amazing but it’s really freaking hard 80% of the days
Wow the two things that struck me were about the tax evasion (to put money in the table) and the taking advantage of the inexperienced. I realized that last summer in Sorrento when we had to bribe people for a lettino. I felt like screaming at them - we live in freaking Napoli come on!
I have a vivid memory. You and I were zooming - I had treated myself to a Soul Caller session and you pulled cards and we talked. You asked me a question - "how would it be if you didn't have that house?" And I couldn't answer you - I couldn't even conceive of how it would possibly be because I didn't think it could ever happen that I would not be in that house. It was a sea change for me that I never shared with you. Because I knew there had to be a way to see myself clear in life without this huge monster we had created. You called that forth in me. And so it was. I love you.
I'm equal parts exhausted and inspired reading this. Gorgeous writing, my friend.
Oh, thank you Andrea. I feel like I'm finally processing what actually happened all those years.
Thank you for writing honestly about your experiences in Italy. Most people will never know who they really are or what they can do, until they are put to the test. I am tempted to look upon the last 3 years of the construction of my house in Greece (it’s almost finished) as a total waste of time, but what you have written has given me a better perspective. Electricity and water here are major issues and until I move in, I don’t know what to expect. This is my challenge.
Oh Esme, I hear you, I really, really do. It feels sometimes like a squander of time. But it's just awkward growth in fits and bursts. First of all, I know it doesn't feel this way AT ALL but you are brave. Superpower, moving-mountains kind of brave. Some days, you feel you are inching towards completion in a ways that will NEVER get you to your goal but you ARE getting to your goal. It's just tedious as hell. Not knowing what to expect is your challenge. You will meet it and it will become part of the story of the Greek House Esme Built and know one can take any of that away from you.
I loved reading this Diana. So much bittersweetness is what I feel taking in your words. I love your honesty and I love hearing the story of how the B&B came into your life and then left it again. You make such an important point about visiting on holiday, dreaming about a place and living in a place. This is something I think about a lot and try to be very clear-eyed about. I dream of Italy every day it seems, but I also recognise that as a dream place for me it serves an important role that probably always needs to stay a fantasy and somewhat out of my reach. I have had the same relationship with the highlands of Scotland. There are places we need to go in our heads, places that make us strive for return, places that keep us motivated...and I think I know in my heart that if I ever moved to any of these places the spell would be broken and reality would be served. Which would be wonderful in a different way I'm sure, but it would be different. Fantasy places can stay perfect, and you can stay removed and naive. You can't preserve that delicious remoteness as a permanent dweller. As I get older I realise that I need the fantasy more. I need to have places that I long for because it keeps me dreaming, and then when I return it is always so special. Anyway, I know this wasn't what you were saying exactly, but it's where I took it. It was the help I took from it :) Thank you as always for sharing your Italy journey with us. xxx
" if I ever moved to any of these places the spell would be broken and reality would be served." God, is that beautiful.
The spell being broken is bittersweet and full of a type of anguish that has to be grieved, I think. No matter how reality based we are, we want the fairy tale. I used to see myself in my minds eye cruising on a Vespe to get croissants in the morning while guests did yoga by the pool - I promise you NONE OF THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Well, yoga did. But I was so buried under sheets and dirty dishes I hardly noticed.
What transpired was definitely real life, and in the end, I guess I am happy about that. I am happy to know that aspect of living in Italy.
I love reading your perspective, my dear Ruth. I am so happy about the release of your book and as soon as I finish Grounded (I left it in Italy intentionally so that I can come back to it in April when I am there) I look forward to getting it and reading it.
Warmest love and hugs.
Oh Diana--what wonderful memories we have of our days with you. Thanks for the reminder.
And what wonderful memories we have of your visits, my friend. Sigh.
We’re still relatively early in our life abroad (in Portugal for less than 2 years now) but this resonates deeply. It feels like, when you move your entire life to a new country, you change everything in a way that’s impossible to explain. Everything is magnified. Incredible rewards and beautiful moments along with challenges that feel insurmountable (sometimes both in the same day, with, say, a walk along the beach and a broken split unit). Thanks for putting words to this experience in a way that feels so accurate. 🩷
YES on the same day - so often!! Also, in Italy, there's the experience of starting out a drive to do chores with 5 things on the list and coming back with one finished and considering it a win. :). So many things. I am happy you enjoyed the post.
You covered all the points, Diana. A tutorial on how it unfolds and how it rolls. Great! Your point about calling, say, the electric company for us too would require brain surgery afterwards. Early on, my accent alone would warrant a quick hang-up, sometimes before even a Bueno’s Dias. It’s humbling actually and a true learning experience. Life 101.
calling, say, the electric company for us too would require brain surgery afterwards - I died laughing. OMG so true. And definitely the hang ups when they hear the accent. It's all so true. Life 101 indeed.
It's funny in retrospect but traumatizing at the time. Couldn't figure out the problem until a friend explained that's just how it is.
Diana, again I enjoyed reading this! You have had a very interesting experience.
Love you dear cousin! ❤️😘
I am so happy you liked it Chris. It was a very interesting time in Italy. I love you too honey!
Bellissimo: such a moving and evocative story
Thank you so much, Cameron.
Kathy and I were guests of yours many years ago. Our stay was a very special experience. I think of it often. It is enlightening to get some of the backstory over a decade later. Be well!
Oh, John. These are the moments I still live for - thank you so much for coming and commenting. I can't begin to tell you what it means. Our guests were everything to us. It was a very special hill with very special people.
I think it’s also interesting what people assume. Eg. I think my friends in the states think: Brenna is living in Italy it’s amazing! Well of course some days are amazing but it’s really freaking hard 80% of the days
I feel you, Brenna. It is hard. And it's beautiful. And it's sad. And it's amazing. The one thing Italy is never is boring!!!
Wow the two things that struck me were about the tax evasion (to put money in the table) and the taking advantage of the inexperienced. I realized that last summer in Sorrento when we had to bribe people for a lettino. I felt like screaming at them - we live in freaking Napoli come on!
I laughed out loud. It's so true. Please, let me give you a week's salary so I can sit on this beach for three hours.
Thank you for this. I have wished many times that I’d come to visit you in Italy. Never more than today. Gorgeous writing. ❤️
I have a vivid memory. You and I were zooming - I had treated myself to a Soul Caller session and you pulled cards and we talked. You asked me a question - "how would it be if you didn't have that house?" And I couldn't answer you - I couldn't even conceive of how it would possibly be because I didn't think it could ever happen that I would not be in that house. It was a sea change for me that I never shared with you. Because I knew there had to be a way to see myself clear in life without this huge monster we had created. You called that forth in me. And so it was. I love you.
Wow. That’s huge. Thank you for telling me. ❤️🙏😇
Brilliant and heartwrenching and fabulous all at the same time.
Thank you, Carina. That B&B was definitely a mix of so so many things - it took me a long time to see it as the catalyst for change that it was.
I feel this on so many levels and am so grateful for your beautiful way of speaking the truth. 🩷
I love how your reflections are sharply analytical, yet have a certain clear-eyed nostalgia.
I absolutely adored this, Diana. Thank you for being so real with us while still letting us dream.